The Street Avenita Grau in pictures-Pt II- Nov 24

Dearest kids, Mom, family & friends,

Couldn't resist sending a few more... that baby really was in the fruit cart!!

love mom, me...

the street Avenita Grau in pictures- Nov 24

dearest kids, Mom, fam & friends,

Here are some pictures of the street that i walk everyday... the area is Santiago.. a poor area of town that is the real Cusco packed with flavour! It is about a ten minute walk from the Maximo Nivel office to the orphanage walking at a nice pace... always captivating.

enjoy.


love mom, me...

ps. will have to send one more group of pictures because the furniture shops are really cool.

the streets that get me to the boys in pictures- Nov 24

Dearest family & friends that i am almost home to,

awesome news !!!congratulations Sarah and Chris on your new baby girl.. how wonderful and lucky you both are .. and she is!!! and we are!!!!! can´t wait to see her and love her up!! i am so happy for all of you.

since it is quite a different world here in most respects i wanted you to see what it is like to walk to the orphanage. unlike our cities, the roads are made of stones.. a few have cement .. but rarely.. the stones come in all shapes that make up the roads and one in particular looks like one of Charlie Gibsons fireplaces.. it is street art. the stones vary from street to street in size, the streets are small, but the new street on the way to work looks like a grey lockstone driveway done in rugged handcut rectangular stones.. beside the streets are sidewalks again made of stones... larger squares,, sometimes with notches cut into the flat part for traction which are on avenita el sol..

when i leave in the morning at about 7;30 the street is lined with dogs.. apparently mostly with homes.. just set free for the day.. i stick my arm up in the air to express my need for a cab and soon i get one... the street is crazy busy.. three lanes turned into four... on good days spanish music is playing... groupo cinço is my favorite..on the way i pass a strip of the avenue with vendors lined up claiming small tin shops , roofs hung with goods... ropes, pots, tools, colourful unidentifyable wares... at the beginning of the row there are two benches occupied by the oldest couple i have seen. . their clothes are worn out, as are their faces, but they seem alive in love and i am convinced they have a love affair better than most.. the other day she wasn´t there and i was sure that she had died but to my relief she reappeared.. and i am happy for him.. i arrive within ten minutes at maximo and after spanish i walk along this little street to the orphanage..... volkswagons & more volkswagons, taxis , taxis ... taxis....the withered old man has moved from the corner to a place right on the avenue el sol and he remains there.. for days now...i wonder where he sleeps...and how he gets here in the morning.. but maybe he stays tucked into a little nook like others i have seen covered in blankets dirty with time.. the weather has changed and it is cooler with winds that whip down through the gulleys of the mountains and laiden with dust fly through the streets of this city. from the bridge that welcomes me ...... Bienvenito a Santiago... i watch the grey mass approaching like a scene in a movie... this happens on and off now... backs turn, heads tuck... the street vendors cover their wares... as well the rains have started and they are heavy with droplets the size of dimes and rivers run wild on the streets especially on Avenita de la Cultura, my regular route home.


in the walk i pass small restaurants.. set with 40ïnch square tables covered in table cloths ready to serve. one day i stopped for lunch because the menu served vegetarian... in it about eight small tables with chairs in the front room and later i learned there was a back room too... anyway sitting in the corner under the window alone.... i see a man, long dreadlocks and hippyish... at the table beside me.. he is eating soup and has a salad dish beside it.... he sees me taking in the place... tv mounted on the wall... beneath it a small salad bar.. beets, tomatoes, carrots, onions..some small plates... on the tables baskets hold assortments of spoons, forks and knives.. your pick... there is a menu on the board beside the tv...and i struggle to interpret it...outside the door a handwritten menu on the board announces meal for 3sols.


the man beside me... late 30´s with long black hair in dreadlocks invites me to join him... thinking it rude to say no, thinking him harmless and wanting to learn more, mostly about how this restaurant works to order a meal... i join him... he doesn´t speak any english... i can get along with the basic questions and am happy to converse for a while... the waitress comes over and between them!!! i order the special.. i have no idea what that is.. anyway it includes soup, served at every meal, a main course.. salad here in this place,, not the norm and a bun.. i am delivered soup and get up and get some salad... like most soups ... it has potatoe in it and is salty.. and i eat it heartily leaving a black potatoe which i later learn is not bad... get some salad and talk a bit to the man beside me.

he is sweaty and nervous.. a little edgy and in a few moments he excuses himself for a few minutes... i am thinking he must be on drugs or something because it isn´t hot in here.. all i can think of is whitney houstan when she was singing on some award show and was messed up and solid sweat . anyway.. he returns and tells me about his life, apart from his wife with a small nimo...and pulls out a book with a title in spanish something to do with narcotics... the next course is served and honestly i could hardly eat it... i am sure to some people it would be delicious... maybe i was just eager to get out of there which i did.

i will not do that again.


remember when i told you about the sidewalks meeting the walls of the shops and houses and how the doors just appear on those walls , wooden, metal, with locks similar to the ones barry sells in his store. .. well that is how it is.. and on this street there are all kinds of shops to look into... there is the old shop with the old truck that makes me think of Dad, and the typewriter shop full of vintage dusty old treasures, the side alley with the man doing sewing repairs., furniture shops!! , drapery shops!!! and places set up for photocopying, selling invitations, pastry, cement, alcohol from barrels and toilets (no individual seats available!) also there are the street vendors with their children and the lady with the baby in the box, a police station, grocery store, and a few places with odds and sodds from combs to erasers to coloured paper in rolls from the 1930s.. the streets are dusty, the shops are too, cars, dogs and that wonderful shoe shiner with the turned around feet all which make my days start off and end off familiar and good.

these pictures are a treat..and will take you there on the everyday walk that leads me to my boys. and it continues to be amazing and not frightening in any way. having said that, i walk straight to the orphanage.. about 10 minutes from Maximo.. at a fairly quick gait leaving my laptop with trisha in the office.. packsack on my front and hands wrapped over it like i did when i was pregnant. there is time to smile, be polite, acknowledge others and take in the day..shop for lunch and look for prizes for bingo..

days have run into months...nothing really changes here... except that baby that grew and fit into the box is now out of the box and onto that young mom's knee... am not sure what she sells but she is always in the same place..the same men offer trips outside taxies.. the police stand guard at the entrance to the station.. a few areas smell strongly of urine.. it is especiallly interesting and alive and unlike any street i have ever seen.. especially in the Canada and bits of the world i have had the joy of seeing..

here's to sharing the street!

big hugs.. time is flying. soon i will be home and enjoying all your stories.. i am sure there are some you haven't told me... just a week to go and still so many experiences to tell you about should you care to know.. macchu piccu day 4, Lake Titicaca, the Amazon Jungle...... ... ... the locker project...little chickens to big chickens,... the baby guitar...the visit to the bruhah..new management at the orphanage... adoption... i will keep writing so i can remember when i am old..

there are more pictures for this letter so you can really get a feeling of how it is walking here.. enjoy .

just about time for a coffee.... and later Sleepless in Seattle..thanks tony for all the movies.. i have been loving them when i cannot sleep..you rock! nite favorite people in the world.
love mom, me .. '

Peru- gabriel and I grow- Pt 2. Nov 21

Peru- gabriel and i grow pt 1- nov 22

dearest logan, meg, kate, Mom, family gang and friends,

it is friday morning.. the sun was up.. disappeared under rain clouds and is now back again.. my heart is torn apart and i still have a week to go... pulled one way and the other .. tugging... i am not worried about the babies.. for they are in great care .. but the boys ..well.. edy, my cha cha amigo, fifteen, small in stature..5feet maybe... leaves the orphange in december.. to where?? the street.. doing what? maybe being the caller on the combi (bus) .. to live where? no se.. this is one boy.

the others... they are not in a bad place at this moment. the food is ok. they are friends and a big family .. of sorts... most of the time their clothes are fairly clean.. they have regular showers with warm water ... by march they will all be in school. learning english might break the cycle with a few connections somewhere...


yesterday. no bingo today. daniella , another volunteer brought punch out houses to build and it was glorious.

Gabriel, my student, about 11.. the little rangatang of two months ago, does not know his numbers... playing bingo has made clear where these boys are in levels of understanding and well, my little gabriel just puts the rocks somewhere on the card and so we have been working on numbers 1 through 25. nose to the paper he works away..and we are both happy...the first day we did this i loaned him my glasses .. nose to the paper has to mean something.. then he tried on my magnifying glasses while Jean Pool did a photo shoot. moments together. tamed by loving. his nose is runny. his ear is still sore. his eyes dance with mischief and his pockets are full of stuff.. who knows what... a great little boy.

when i left yesterday i glanced around... ultimate day?? not yet.. we have one week left.. no .. no .. no.. it´s ok it is only thursday.

along the wall small groups gather..the breaking apart of fourty... with their favorite friends.. some brothers.. saturday i will shop for a new bingo game and some more treats... what do you want.. red pens, fingernail clippers, blue and black pens too.. combs.. shampoo.. .. surely there will be some great goodies...

what has changed? for me everything.. my heart is strong and weak at the same time. i am here. there is a patch of sky colorado blue. the mountains rest in the distance holding cusco lovingly on its tummy ...there are great moments of warm....

at the babies it is peaceful. soothing music fills the room and mostly the babies are happy. the have grown in the five weeks i have been here.. how can that be ... time going so fast .. but they tell the story. their cheeks are full, smiles and noises escape as our eyes meet, their and their bodies solid.. hardly able to bend in all the layers that they have on.. Paulo cannot drink fast enough and Ayde´s eyes roll up with the pleasure of warm leche.. Alex spends his days with the gordos..(next group up) because he can sit up and the little girl with the pig tails is there too. the intensive care baby is somewhere else... no se and so the numbers are down and it is much easier to share time..

yesterday the nurse and i learned exchanged words in spanish and english and had we had good laugh trying to explain the significance or ¨like¨ to her.. other words were simple like ..sick, heavy, light, poopee pants.. but to get the idea of a emotion, and a comparison.. and looks like... it is going to rain.. took a little more work.. in the end i gave her my dictionary and i will continue the lessons next wednesday.. there is no way i am stopping working here. one week to go.

i am myself with the babies and time is good here. it feels like that come down at the end of a busy day when i can simply sit, hold warm bodies and kiss lovely little cheeks. with the music it is somewhat like meditation and outside the mountains make me remember where i am. the world stops and life is important. this is easy work .. in the sense of good for the soul.

here are some pictures for you.

the boy in the learning numbers series pictures is Gabriel with me .. photo shoot by Jean Pool.
the single shot is Edy.. my cha cha student .. the one going to the streets in December.
the babies are ; new baby Pamela.. who was dropped off at a church two weeks ago.. the one wailing with bare legs delivered to us suppertime one friday nite.. she is growning like a weed, as dad would say, and she is beautiful!! of the babies she takes the absolute longest to eat.. perhaps she needs more holding time to grow.. and she is getting it.

the little chubby one is Paulo and he is the happiest little runt! no, he is not a runt. he is getting wonderfully plump and an armful to rock..and jiggle.. he is the one who does most of the talking of the babies and he entertains me as much as i entertain him

i love them all and know they are in a very good place.



today i have a cold but am heading out with my friend Hannah, (18 and almost fluent in spanish from usa) and we are going to visit a bruha (sp?) a fortune teller with her spanish teacher and a few other students. this is at 10;30 and should be cool.. the teacher will be our interpreter and i am sure she will only tell us the good stuff!! ha.

i miss you all and am counting down the days .. with my torn up feelings... it is a hard thing to have to leave here for i feel for the first time in along time that i belong but it will be good to be home with all of you that i love.

have some fun today. put the fire on and the coffee pot.. and i would like bread pudding with milk just like in the olden days for supper.. i will let you in on the stories - if they are worth hearing!

all my love.. will see you kids in 9!!days.. wowo.
love mom, me, deb...

thanks from Peru- Nov 18

dearest kids, Mom, family and friends,

you make me happy. thanks.

off to love up the babies.

love mom, me....

The Babies I am Loving in Peru- Nov 15

Dearest Logan, Meg, Kate, Tony, Em, Bryan, Marvelous Mom, Family of my Dreams and Fabuloso Friends,

Today is my day for coffee and company.. and you are it!!!

Life continues to be busy and i have squeezed in some "rounding my life out" in the company of fantastic friends who are a young hip crowd that has gathered from around the world. ..Austrailia, the US, Holland, England and Korea. my mind just got opened to this amazing world and i am convinced it is full of goodness.

these are fascinating growing times. it is not complicated. tell the truth. be honest with yourself. take your time. listen. to yourself and others. it doesn´t have to happen this moment. the stars line up when they line up. accept things. go down the river and when it feels like you are going up the river, turn around. love deeply. forgive quickly. dreams come true. yes, kids it is advice time from mom. not that i am wise like you mom and aunt jo, but i am figuring some things out floating downstream.

last week i spent with the babies... and i have appreciated the physical break from the 9 little toddlers.. my back is not what it used to be. so i have been sitting on those 2 inch foam mats and feeding, rocking and jiggling them on my knee. i am sure to tuck into that curved red support typically for the babies to help them stay upright. well it is a God send for my back. Ayde and Fredrico and one other little gaffer are smiling and those twinkling black eyes beam joy. each one gets all the time he or she needs and the moments of crying babies in that room is realively non existent.

juan alex, continues to fight me when fed despite new positioning from knee to between two knees sitting. he doesn´t have the swallowing concept down so just because he is plump doesn´t mean he is ready. he is built like you were brady and just as solid.. i am sure you had the strongest bones in the family when you were little!
so that is juan.. i call him alex. he has whispy hair and light skin, totally gets the rattle and loves one in each fat little hand. he sits well and only on occasion falls sideways. a task to jiggle but it happens whenever it needs to happen. in the pictures Alex has the whispy hair and plump cheeks.

Ayde is my smiler. she is lovely with cinnamon coloured skin and wide apart peruvian eyes. she has more hair than i have ever seen, and like you meg it carries down her forehead. i love her to pieces too. she is about 2 months old is growing like a weed totally devouring her bottle in moments.. she still flops over when she is burped and rarely complains about life. on thursday she was taken to the hospital with the runs but i am sure she will be fine and back in good hands soon..there is a series of smile pictures attached which you will love.

Andres is a beauty boy about the same age as Ayde. he is handsome and beginning to smile too. the other day my favorite young nurse who is very interested in learning english and is patient with my spanish was doing the routine nails clipped , hair inspected , baby over knee part of the day. she is picking flakes from andres hair when she finds a live louse!!! andres is two months old! we both meet eyes to eyes!! she keeps inspecting.. i immediately think i must have this from the orphanage!!! we inspect all the babies.. only andres... i tell her please inspect me because those kids are all over me every day and i easily could have brought it here... to my relief i am lice free!!.

thank goodness.
i learn that Andres is from a very poor family in a small village. His mother recently died, he has been here for the month that i have been here, and he has five other siblings.. to my joy, his father visits him and he is just in temporary placement while the dad figures things out.

another little soul, who arrived a week ago friday was dropped at a church. she is 30 days old and very small. reminds me of you kids when you were about a week old. she is fair skinned with whispy hair and has long long fingers..which she will grow in to. i am not sure of her name yet..she is lovely. drinks eagerly, doesn´t cry like the night we got her.. bare skinny legs, frantic movements and terrified cries...

in the span of four hours there are some moments that are still and one day i just breathed and closed my eyes til i almost fell asleep.. baby in arms. there is so much to look at that my mind doesn´t travel far.. it is kind of like holding a soul because these babies are so perfect and all they need is love. i constantly kiss those fat cheeks and play mommy till they giggle or smile and i love them completely.. passing them on when they have an explosion of ka ka.
ha! it is a soft wonderful time and i am thriving in it.

part of the glory of this is that these babies are in wonderful care. they are treasured. they are clean and full. and mostly they are loved by all the workers. if any of you have would like to adopt a baby or child from Peru this place would be perfect. i am not sure of the proceedure but i will get some help in the translation if you would like to know.

this is happy work. it cannot be rushed. each soul gets his or her time. there is lots of love to go around and no need to rush home for supper.

these pictures are for you to share the joy. loving them up for all of you. in the meantime love yours and best to you sarah and chris as you wait for your new arrival. can´t believe that little one is almost here! yeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!


love mom, me.. ..

ps Sarah , have some of your Gramma´s apple dumplings if that baby is taking too long. my best and huggsss to you. thinking good thoughts.

"we are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from life" William Osler- Nov 14

Dearest awesome kids, Wonderful Mother, great gang of family and friends,

I have settled into a wonderful life here and it feels like i belong in a way that i never dreamed possible. I feel at home with all the things i have been doing and i feel no stress .. working and making great friends has warmed my soul and my heart is light. In the routine of the day i plant those red sandals to my feet and go!! it is still warm here for half of the day despite the rainy season beginning but the tanned face of september has faded and only lines of colour cross the tops of my feet. long sleeves continue and everyday a rain jacket or poncho is packed to catch the afternoon cool and rain that happens around 3o´clock here. We have had some big downpours and there is a chill that comes with it and makes me want a fire on. today it is 66degrees and comfortable.

my spanish class is superb! and i am alone with the teacher Jorge and a great kid from Korea, Juan who is shy and almost fluent, having studied spanish.. one month!! i laugh. i am not shy to speak despite my mediocre skills and we all get some laughs. i see Ecuador and Costa Rica in my future if not Africa. it is a wonderful language! although it may be the people that pull me back here for a time.

the priviledge of no internet at my fingertips has enlightened me to an even more simple life and i am thankful to have read echkart tolle over romance novels, for i am able to stay present with my boys and babies which is where i choose to be. life is truly simple here and life is difficult all around me. seemingly untouched the people smile at me as i walk arms over packsack into a neighbourhood that my tandom warns me to be careful in. i do not know their circumstance and cannot imagine their stories..despite all, i feel safe and comfortable. i walk beside the same people every day.. the shoeshine man with the turned around feet always smiles and one day he was shaving and after passing him i turned around to see the daily routine... our eyes met and we both laughed. somehow i feel like they would all help me if i needed them.. certainly i would help them.

weeks ago the road that i pass was torn up.. man... picks and hard labour tore apart this road and over the span of two and a half months it is days away from being complete. like other streets it is made of stones.. measured and squared.. the sidewalk rises above it in beautiful pattern.. it is a repeat of the old in the present. there is nothing easy here.. labour is third world tough and the result is beautiful. there are no corners cut here in pavement. i am convinced the people here are all skilled craftsmen who sing.

you will remember that i changed houses in the hope of living with a Peruvian family.. in the hills, with or without electricity or running water but this is not the case... it is the same type of house.. set up for lots of volunteers. Changes have come with acceptance as new young people move into the home where i now live with the family of Sonja.. her lawyer husband and four girls..this family is around me and us.. there are six other volunteers in this house - all under 30 and from the States. it is different that Nadia´s house.. Sonja totally babies all of us and feeds us a wide variety of food .. daily vegetables and fruit will wait till i am home. We are served dinner on a plexi-glass !!!!!!!!!!!!!! table and chairs in her dining room wrapped in sheers. even the sofa is slipcovered in lace! the windows are massive with horizontal metal bars spàced 8 or so inches apart on the total window on both floors ..and the door is floor to ceiling wooden with gigantic locks. there are two washrooms - one with a soft plastic seat!! hot water is most of the time.. beds are made for us!! and laundry service is an option! the neighbourhood Wanchaq, is a step up from Santa Monica, with the same police patrolling at corners and monitoring throughout the night. they have a whistle system that they talk to each other with and it goes on in the wee hours of the night.. one side of the house is on a park so sleeping can be light.

morning comes early with light beamng in the gigantic wall of window.. i miss the mountain wake up at Nadia´s house but it is less lonely here with all the company and the family are here when i need somebody around. mostly my roommate is gone having found a peruvian lover! and i don´t mind a bit having the room to myself and the chick flicks that take me home. usually i get home about 8 :30 at night having finished my projects and Spanish tandom Mitsy who continues to be a great help and fun!

i haven´t written of work lately. it is a full shift and there are still no pressures with the boys although i have learned the lessons of having money or prizes in my backpack. as life unravels there we have become completely comfortable with one another.. and they are open to asking for everything and it seems that either answer is acceptable. there is a way of life here i am just beginning to understand.. and there is nothing i can ever change. since the boys have nothing .. getting something is momentarily important. . in the knowledge that it will probably will be taken from you from a bigger boy.. so hide it.. keep it in your pocket. a name on it won´t matter. also there is a ´brotherly´order here that protects and takes care of the smaller ones like in a family that i am seeing. marco, the 15ish tough guy that is "studying to be a pick pocket" from the best teacher in Cusco was somewhat frightening to me at first but i have warmed up to him watching him walk in from school with the smallest of the lot next to his arm.. and watch him help the little guys get the stone on the right number while playing bingo. it is good despite his apparent skills at the game of survival.. pickpocketing! i am at home with them now and like when you kids were little, i have become fussy about their squabbling amidst themselves and take away the games if they continue to misbehave.. it is frustrating without good spanish but they understand expressions and actions are good teachers too and they quickly understand. it is a motherly chore and i accept it heartily even when they get mad and stomp away!! i love you anyway.


a few weeks ago in the search for something new and having discovered the relatively untouched computer room we got permission to use the room .. but shortly later we were banned as games here, like cards, are a no! NO! this room has six appearingly new computers .. two with internet .. and all under plastic covers. i have not figured out when the boys are allowed to be here, or with whom.. for the room is constantly locked and obviously must be monitored when in use.

anyway weeks ago a pile of great things... colouring books, crayons, story books and boxes were piled on that old worn velvet couch and shortly later disappeared.. where??? so i asked the secretary, who needs glasses badly to work.. where they went and was told in the storage room.. where is that. it seems that all these great things.. books, painting supplies, paper, musical instruments.. are tucked away and under lock an key. i don´t know the point of this because other than volunteers there is no play with these boys and no effort to do something fun.. maybe this is because we do it for them.

one day we asked Janet, the directora, to show us the supplies available to us and she opened up the closet in the computer room for us where we discovered a bag of recorders, a huge drum with a white skin and boxes of games some opened and some not.... well, we were set for the afternoon.. wow!! what a day.. there was more noise and whistling than was bearable from those recorders and this continued accompanied by the guitar playing by niños and me for several hours. !!! whee... just like at grammas!! complete tolerance for everything: awesome.. we were all in our glory.

when i left that midafternoon the workers all breathed a sigh of relief.. but the best part was that nobody said one thing while the recitals were going on.. i am sure the whole street heard us and not even a neighbour complained! fun.

a bonus of opening the door was the pile of games tucked into that closet!! wow. some new and never played, others in boxes slightly worn... so we got the bingo game out the next day and it has taken over the guitar for the time being..the new adventure of learning english numbers and me learning spanish numbers... what a perfect exchange.

parked on the sidewalk, marvelous sunshine upon us boys scatter too close .. all touching something.. and around me..still dirty brown feet in sandals too small .. selected by choice over runners that fit.. from home, comfortable and dirty. most wear the same clothes they have worn all week except the older boys who are cleaner in all respects. i am so happy with them around me and i pause and listen to their calls as they are eager to take over for a more rapid.. and accurate pronunciation! in silence i soak them in.. the cement is hot and the sun is beating on us.. there are no prizes on this day and with no idea that there ever could be the boys seem completely happy as am i......they catch on in a wink and i am intrigued by their lasting interest, knowledge and speed.. even the little schooled ones have this down in an instant. i am surprised. Gabriel, the used to be little rangatang (called lovingly)guesses at numbers and there is a general helping each other throughout the games. a brotherhood.

the sun is hot.we have no blotters or plastic circles to cover the numbers called. little stones work perfectly and i jump up to gather more at the call of deborah, deborah! and pointing fingers. it is not fancy. exactly what i love. not fancy. it is always the little things that make life perfect and this is the place to get your life up!


it has been almost two weeks with bingo. we spent one day playing monopoly and Marco, my pickpocket in training was both the banker and the instructor.. keeping track of houses and purchases and fines and the money!! there are different rules here and the 1´s are 200.00s. i am delighted with him. convinced of his skills but love his brotherly love and protection that he gives those niños. he is not bad.

marco is fifteen. he has been here since he was little. so when the nuns ran the place when the beatings existed. this according to the directora, Janet. in the monopoly picture Marco is the banker. rough on the edges, cool as cool.. and a strong leader.

catching up on recent days, prizes have become the order of the day now and this is really fun. we don´t just do ordinary lines.. we call squares, X´s, full cards, L´s, triple lines, double lines.. and the boys usually pick.. it is exciting and there is great intention going on here. the concentration is thick!! now at this point i have learned my numbers quite well up to 75 and my pronunciation ( my spelling used to be fairly good in english!) in español is, well, to my professoros amusement becoming Ketchanwan (sp?) .. so not proper!!.. i thought that 7 - which is pronounced "see et eh".. was this.. but the boys are repeat "shet eh" whenever i call a number with a seven in it so i corrected myself... and now i sound like the boys! funny.. i love the harmony of voices that echo number calling.

imagine a table, that has chairs.. rarely used in the game... with me crowded on a chair with my backpack behind me or underfoot.. (learned the lessons) and little and big boys smashed together shoulder to shoulder almost making it impossible to move, and knees to cards , bodies folded over on the table over with small piles of irregular stones guarded between knees and under hands... bingos bring a choice of combs, pens, english/spanish dictionaries, decks of cards, erasers and maple sugar candies..



thursday under the tree.. a day off from school for the twenty-four that go.. we plunk down in the shade . the ground is dry with small brown seeds good for markers. behind and under me white painted irregular stones circle the tree and i, like the boys, seek the comfortable curves of the earth.. around me eager bodies in fleeces worn all week fold over now personalized bingo cards now coloured with markers and pen the preference over stones. now, calling numbers have disappeared and scattered and x´s mark the numbers missing replaced by small paper scribbled on... 1 - 17, n - 33... soon these blow away in the wind and stones randomly fill the holes on the master card.

on the big win, a deck of cards... i reach into my backpack for the honours... no cards!! hmm. my heart sinks. i still have a hard time believing that it is ok to pickpocket .. accepted.. a way of life. i am becoming convinced that it is not seen as wrong to many.. just a deck of cards... anyway this story gets sadder.

there is a special little boy beside me. he has not always been hand in hand.. hugs when i leave.. joy in his eyes but he is this now. well i made a huge mistake !!! as we finished our game and was putting things away he left the circle with his sweater folded over something inside his sweater.. i got up followed him .. i asked him what he had.. thinking he had the deck of cards.. he put his head down.. i asked him to show me and he unfolded his sweater to reveal a pile of cards. but not from the packsack... they were like magic cards.. all loose and worn and obviously a treasure from a way back. i felt sick because of what i thought. i should have let this go.. i have let so many other things just go.. a lesson.

yesterday i got help with an apology in spanish and when he came to me to hug me goodbye i got out my notebook and told him as he read the letter that said i am sorry.

there is a small window for these boys.. they have three years here in the orphanage, funded by a corrupted government.. then they have to go somewhere. where? the street. the huge orphanage in Lima... the streets.. some go back to their families to a life of poverty, maybe hunger and hard work. for the lucky.. they get sponsors.. to have english classes at Maximo Nivel at the cost of 120 sols per month... so 40$ .. others get jobs like Guido who got swept up by the roofers to work a long day for next to nothing pay ... at 14 years old. others may get lucky and move to privately funded houses for orphans... housing 6 or 8 ..

so this is the tear your heart apart sad thing... and then, if you did sponsor a boy there is no guarantee that they would get the money.. janet believes the whole orphanage is corrupt.. if you steal with them life there is harmonious...

i am feeling sad and emotional at the thought of leaving them in two weeks and realize that every moment needs to be good. it is harder to stay in the present as time gets closer but i mostly happy and focused on making their days good and i can say they are.

sending some pics of the faces that i love. settling into writing for the weekend and will catch you up. missing you all and greatly looking forward to seeing all your faces and hugging and kissing a bunch of you. keep those fires burning and have happy days. these are the good old days.

all my love ,

moommmmmmeeeeeee, me .....